Is lying or dishonesty on the part of your SA SO a contributing factor to the problems in your relationship?
1 Kudos
Lying
| Author | Comment | ||
|---|---|---|---|
 tootootrue |
Lying |
Lead | |
|
Member
Posts: 5672 (August 7, 2005 09:45) Founder |
|
||
|
Unregistered(d) |
Re: Lying | ||
|
Posts: 0 (August 7, 2005 10:36) |
Past tense because the relationship is now over. The final lie was the breaking point,
 .~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Tolerance becomes a crime when applied to evil." -- Thomas Mann "The greater part of our happiness depends on our dispositions and not on our circumstances." --Martha Washington |
||
|
tootootrue |
Re: Lying | ||
|
Member
Posts: 5672 (August 7, 2005 11:18) Founder |
me too!
![0]](http://www.online-thecatsmeow.com/images/Emoticons/angry.gif)
|
||
|
Unregistered(d) |
Re: Lying | ||
|
Posts: 0 (August 16, 2005 08:31) |
Same, and he wants another chance!! How many chances does he want? A lifetime?
meanwhile.. he continues to lie, to hide facts and so on.. 
|
||
|
Mrs Sofedup |
Re: Lying | ||
|
Member
Posts: 3020 (August 20, 2005 10:21) Founder |
ITs a condition of My boundaries I set into Place 2 years ago...
NO MORE LYING EVER.. About anything. ~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~
Well..... Butter my butt, and Call me Biscuit........... |
||
|
tootootrue |
Re: Lying | ||
|
Member
Posts: 5672 (August 24, 2005 03:10) Founder |
|
||
|
bethsescape |
Re: Lying | ||
|
Posts: 623 (September 30, 2005 04:11) |
SFU posts for me.
NO MORE LYING |
||
|
schmickle |
Re: Lying | ||
|
Posts: 1181 (November 8, 2005 06:28) Moderator |
ya know....I don't know what to beleive anymore!!
  .As I told you girls before, I was sniffing aroun on hubbies computer to see what I could see,When I found some porn sites on his history bar.He swears up and down that he was just surfing obscure news sites and the porn sites were fake links to something he wanted to know about. I know , I know ,hmmmmm .I asked him if he was looking at porn, would he tell me.He said no because I know how much that would upset you. but he said I'm not.I wouldn't do that to you.  .well.... the other night I was upstairs w/him and I looked at the screen and in the small bar on the side, you know next to the task bar,said herpes porn. I asked him what that was all about and he said that he was reading a thread somewhere from some guy who was ranting abt porn stars all having herpes and he wanted to search and see what he could find about it.I don't know, I guess if what he really wanted to see was straight up porn,he wouldn't have herpes in front of it for the search.  schmickle
|
||
|
Unregistered(d) |
Re: Lying | ||
|
Posts: 0 (November 8, 2005 07:20) |
Oh Smickle,
Sorry to say, for your sake, that it smells fishy. 
|
||
|
belki |
Re: Lying | ||
|
Member
Posts: 223 (October 18, 2007 02:38) |
the lying is worse than the P ever could be
|
||
|
mo4wo1 |
|||
|
Member
Posts: 316 (June 26, 2008 12:14) |
It is the number one problem in my marriage to my husband. If he were just honest with himself & me I think much could be overcome & dealt with, and if
needed we could amicably break.
* Schmickle, Regardless of his excuse/reason for looking at it, he was looking. And for what I know, site do not come up in ones history unless they have been visited or searched for. Links (like he mentioned... ads) do show up in the cookies, but i have never seen where they show up in the History unless they have actually been clicked on & visited. I seem to remember my H trying that one with me & it working back then because I just didn't know different. But I do now. I am a bit harder to fool. And what I don't know, I have been good at finding out on my own. And he's a programmer. Besides, I have a son whose a programmer by hobby & I can always ask him. I hope you're never afraid to ask & search these things out. Goggle can be an amazing tool. I do hope my info helped you, too. ((((hugs))) Sorry, though. |
||
|
2tired2deal |
|||
|
Member
Posts: 7 (June 26, 2008 04:59) |
Yeah, lying is a huge part of our problems. I have a new boundary in place, like SFU's. No. More. Lying. Ever. Period! If he does, I'm out! P has been horrible, but the lying is worse. Someone on NP has in her sig line (can't remember who) "Lies Kill, please stop killing me". I'd rather he just do P if he still wants to and leave out the lying. At least then I could make a decision if I wanted to stay in the relationship based on accurate information. |
||
|
mo4wo1 |
|||
|
Member
Posts: 316 (June 26, 2008 11:08) |
"At least then I could make a decision if I wanted to stay in the relationship based on accurate information."
Oh, I can certainly understand that. My husband has more than a few times said to me that I should at least make a fully informed decision. This was while he was still holding back info, such as he was fired for a/o at work & so on. So since then I have reminded him I can't do that without him giving me the info, first! Now, though, I know enough info whether he admits to it or not. And what he admits to & cannot deny & have me believe anymore (because others know) is & should be more than enough info for me to decide with. But yet, here I am.
Last Edited By: mo4wo1
June 26, 2008 11:11.
Edited 2 times.
|
||
|
Mrs Sofedup |
|||
|
Member
Posts: 3020 (June 27, 2008 02:15) Founder |
Yeah, lying is a huge part of our problems. I have a new boundary in place, like SFU's. No. More. Lying. Ever. Period! If he does, I'm out! P has been horrible, but the lying is worse. Someone on NP has in her sig line (can't remember who) "Lies Kill, please stop killing me" 2T2D , Yes, I can't remember who has that line either, but, I feel that way too. the lies were the worst. I still have that boundary in place. Don't FUCKIN Lie to me.... JUST DON'T... SFU |
||
|
Healing Rain |
|||
|
Member
Posts: 1010 (July 1, 2008 04:41) Administrator |
Yep, the lies play a huge role in the problem. And its not always big lies, or deliberate lies... it can be simply omission... or lack of considering i should
have that information type of lies. Or manipulation of the outcome, type of lies.. You know when they decide we will react a certian way at some sort of info,
so they either with hold or manipulate the situation so that its just not exactly honest or correctly what happened, but is somewhere in between with
additional or minus information. I think I hate that type of lie the most.
|
||
|
lyssalanai |
|||
|
Member
Posts: 756 (October 12, 2008 02:53) Moderator |
The lying is what I still can't get over. If he lied to me before, what prevents him from doing it again? Yes, he's changed, and yes, he does his very
best to be as absolutely accountable to me as possible. That's good. But because I still don't know what some of the lies WERE, because there are still
some things that I don't know for certain, it's hard to move past that one part of the issues that we had surrounding his PA.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Forcefully stating opinions does not make me bitter. Having conviction does not make me a b!tch. Believing in something does not make me a fanatic. But not supporting my own convictions, beliefs and opinions... that would make me weak. |
||
Quick Reply
US Amber Alert:
Canada Amber Alert:
Amber alerts linked from codeamber.org
